|
'The Hardest Thing I Had to
Say'
It all started when I was 6
years old. I met a boy while I was playing outside on my
farm in California. He was an average kind of boy that you chased and beat up for teasing you. After that first meeting where I beat him up, we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. After that, we would meet at the fence all the time and were always seen together there.
I would tell him all my secrets.
He was very quiet and would
just listen to what I had to
say. I found him easy to talk
to and I could talk to him
about everything. In school we had separate friends but
when we got home we would
always talk about what
happened in school.
One day I told him that a guy I
liked hurt me and broke my
heart. He comforted me and
told me everything would be
okay. He gave me words of
encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and
thought of him as a real friend.
But I knew that there was
something else about him that
I liked. I thought of it that
night and figured that I loved him as a good friend. All through high school till
graduation, we're always
together and I thought it was
normal as we were good
friends. But I knew deep inside
that I really felt differently. On graduation night, even though
we had different dates for the
prom, I really wanted to be
with him. After everybody
went home that night, I went
to his house and told him that I wanted to see him. Well, that
night was my big chance and
all I did was just sit there with
him watching the stars and
talking about our future plans
instead. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about
his dreams. He wanted to get
married and settle down. He
also said he wanted to be rich
and successful. I told him
about my dreams and cuddle next to him. I went home hurt because I
didn't tell him how I felt about
him. I wanted to tell him that
I love him so badly but I was
too scared and frightened to
do so. I decided to let my feelings go and told myself
that someday I would tell him
how I felt. All through college,
I wanted to tell him about my
feelings but he always had
someone with him. After graduation, he got a job
in New York. I was happy for
him but at the same time I
was sad to see him go. I was
also sad because I didn't tell
him how I felt. Nevertheless, I couldn't let him know then as
he was leaving for his big job.
Hence, I just kept it to myself
and watched him board the
plane. I cried as I hugged him
for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home
that night and cried my eyes
out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell
him what I felt for him inside
my heart. I got a job as a secretary and
then worked my way up to
be a computer analyst. I was
proud of what I had
accomplished. One day, I got a
letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him. I
was happy and sad at the
same time. I knew that I could
never be with him ever again
and we could only be friends
from now on. I went to the wedding the next month. It
was a big occasion. There was
a big church wedding and
grand reception at a hotel. I
met the bride and him. I fell in
love when him again on that day. But I held back so it
wouldn't spoil what should be
the happiest day in his life. I
tried to have fun that night
but it was killing me inside
watching him being so happy with another person. I tried to
appear to be happy to cover
up the sadness and tears inside
me. I left New York feeling that I
did the right thing. Before I
left on the flight, he came
running out of nowhere and
to say his goodbye and how
he was very happy to see me again. I went home and tried
to forget about what
happened in New York. I had
to go on with my life. As the
years went on, we wrote to
each other about our lives and how we missed talking to
each other. On one occasion, he never
wrote back even after a long
time. I got worried as I didn’t
get any reply even after
writing six letters to him.
Just when I thought he had forgotten about me and
everything seemed hopeless, I
got a note that said, "Meet me
at the fence where we used to
talk about things."
I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him but he
was heartbroken and sad
inside. We hugged so tightly
that we couldn't breathe. He told me about his divorce
and why he hadn't written
back for a long time. He cried
until he ran out of tears. We
finally went back to the house
and we talked and laughed as we catch up on old times.
Despite the good opportunity,
I still couldn't tell him how I
felt about him. In the days
that followed, he had fun and
forgot about his problems and his divorce. I fell in love with
him again. When it was time
for him to go back to New
York, I went to see him off
and cried. I hated to see him
leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a
vacation. I couldn't wait for
him to come so I could be with
him. We would always have
fun when we were together. One day he didn't show up like
he said he would. I figured
that he might have been busy.
The days turned into months
and I forgot all about it. Until
one day, I got a call from a lawyer in New York. The
lawyer said that he had died in
a car accident on his way to
the airport. It took a while for
them to settle things before
calling me. It broke my heart to hear the news. I was
shocked to know what took
place. I realized why he didn't
show up on that day like he
promised. I was heartbroken
again. I cried tears of sadness and heartache that night. He
was such a kind man and did
not deserve to die so young. I gathered my things and
went to New York for the
reading of his will. He left his
inheritance to his family and
his ex-wife. I met her for the
first time since the wedding. She explained to me that he
was a good man and provided
for the family. However, he
was always unhappy. She
would try everything but she
couldn't get him to be happy like the night at their
wedding. When the will was
read, I found out he had left
me a diary. It was a diary of
his life. I cried as it was given
to me. I didn't know what to think of it. Why was this
given to me? I took it and
flew back to California. As I
flew on the plane, I
remembered the good times
that we had together. I started reading the diary and
what was written in it. The diary started with an
entry on the day we first met.
I started to cry as I read on. He
had fallen in love with me on
that day I was heartbroken.
However, he was too afraid to tell me how he felt. That was
why he kept quiet and
listened to me instead. As I
continued reading through
more entries, I realized he
wanted to tell me about how he felt many times but he was
always too afraid to say
anything. He mentioned that
he went to New York and
thought that he fell in love
with another person. But the happiest time he had in New
York was seeing me and
dancing with me at the
wedding. He said he imagined
it was our wedding. His later
entries mentioned that he was always unhappy as he realized
he still loves me and hence, he
had no choice but to divorce
his wife. He said that the best
time of his life was to read the
letters written by me to him. He finally ended the diary with
an entry, "Today I will tell her
I love her".
The entry was written on the
day he was killed. The day I
was finally going to find out how he really felt in his heart. If you love someone, don't
wait till tomorrow to tell him/
her. Maybe that next day will
never come at all.
|
You are currently browsing our forum as a guest, please consider registering to get full access to all of our forum features, download free games, get help for your pc and cellphone problems and learn new mobile tricks like how to browse the internet using your cellphone for free. All that and more, so what are you waiting for, JOIN us now!!!! Click here to register...
Print
Topic: 'The Hardest Thing I Had to Say' (Read 404 times)
03-15-09 02:22 AM
